Taking the Good with the Bad

April is a reall iffy month for me. The first notice I receive that it's arrived is that very exciting talk begins of my granddaughter' s May birthday. She will be 5 this year. Another little granddaughter turned 5 today but I don't get to celebrate with her. For reasons I can't honestly savvy, I' m not all sure of why she's been denied me. Or why I've been denied her. So as with all other things I cannot understand or really effect, I've turned this heartache over to the Lord.

Then April comes around, and all my good intentions fly out the window. Despite my strict diet, I ate pizza today and cheese sticks and a chocolate cupcake and chocolate donuts. I cried when I learned a friend is in ICU in life-threatening situation. Day before yesterday a lady who works for my husband landed in ICU with a brain aneurism.

Then the rest of the grandkids show up, and I have a respite from the world headed-for-hell-in-a-handbasket. Now alone at the end of the evening, my emotions feel more confused than anything. Kind of twisted together and wrung out with an iron fist. But soon, maybe tomorrow or next week, the world will begin to knit itself together again, and I'll feel fine again until the next trigger.

Sorry to be so melancholy today, but a spider's got to do what a spyder's got to do...

Love you all,
~pinkie