Ahhhhh, Fresh Air

The dh and I got some cobwebs cleared out of the relationship yesterday, and it feels mighty good. The original diagnosis of cancer and the ensuing trials and tribulations changed a lot of the dynamics without telling us, and we're just starting to get a handle on how much. Old fears and insecurities from my past decided to make an appearance (just to baffle the crap out of both of us - for fun, you know - ack!) with the new fears and insecurities. In other words, from time to time, I'm an emotional wreck. I suppose it's inevitable. I was able to tell him things I hadn't fully realized I was feeling, and he was able to reassure me that I couldn't have stopped any of them no matter what I'd done. And also that the chrystal ball in my head is only an illusion. I have no way of reading another person's mind or the future.

But, today..........the air feels fresh and clean and life is good. I'm able to tell myself that I'm a normally flawed wife just like all the other normal wives. I'm a normally flawed mother just like all the other normal mothers. I'm not responsible for anyone else's happiness or lack thereof. All I can do is be the best I can, be as kind as I know how, apologize when I mistreat someone, and love all people to the utmost of my ability. Even enemies, which is an uphill battle - on my knees no less.

Our Sunday school lessons at church have been centered on embracing the love and grace of Jesus and have been very beneficial.

Well, it's off to sew the rest of the stuff for Sheila's bedding. The shower is Saturday, and I'm just about done. Love you all!

~pinkie

Alfred Hitchcock Must Have Been From Oklahoma

There must be a million grackles hanging out on the overhead lines and in the trees around Walgreen's. I'm serious. They're lined up at least a quarter mile. And squaking - oh my lord! At least 90 decibels worth. It's like walking onto the movie set of The Birds. I never truly appreciated the finer points of migration until I moved to Oklahoma!

I'll never forget the first time I saw a migrating flock. These were smaller birds, but they filled the sky. I nearly had a wreck, I was so fascinated watching them. I'd rather they didn't poop on my car, of course, but I really do enjoy this time of year. One exception - grackles I could do without altogether.

Ah, spring...

Have I gotten all my bulbs in the ground you ask? Well (shuffling feet) not yet. I have close to 100 to go. Some are starting to come up - how exciting is that?

I love Oklahoma (because it rains here)! Nothing like living in the desert to make you appreciate all the little things like rain and birds and the great friends I've made here. Love you all!!

~pinkie

Sleep, Sleep! Wherefore Art Thou, Sleep

Yeah, I'm feeling just about that melodramatic. For someone who's always slept like a stone, this is driving me bonkers. I do all right the first part of the week, and along about Wednesday, I can hardly get a wink except between 5 and 10 am. Obviously my previous plan is kaput. As you can see above, Max has no trouble gettin' the Z's at all.

So...I'm going to try going to bed at 9:30 or 10, getting up at 6:30, and taking a short late morning nap. Without the naps, if I do this, the Wednesday routine changes to sleeping between 5am and 3pm - not good for a gal that has lots to do.

I'm making real progress on the book - yay! And on the quilt - yay! with reservations. The reservations are because I'm a really terrible machine quilter so far (but getting better) and I'll have a LOT of things to fix on the quilt when I'm done. I think the backing and the front will be straight, but that's about all I'm hoping for. I have a lot of trouble seeing the lines I mark on the fabric (too bad I can't use my trusty Sharpie on anything but the tear away/rinse away paper). Even with my glasses and a magnifying glass! *sigh* It also doesn't help when you come close to a seam allowance and the machine won't glide smoothly over it...I'll have to plan for that better next time.

My sister, who is the guru of quilt making (darn her!) is probably smiling indulgently at me right now and shaking her head. The good thing is, she'll let me in on a much easier way to do it. She never lets me suffer for long! Speaking of my sister, I had planned to go to visit her and my mom this last weekend for a quilt show, but then my writing chapter scheduled that day to bring an agent and an editor in. I didn't want to miss the chance of making the contact, and then the dumb weather dumped a bunch of snow on the NY airport before the two could get out of town. Oh, man! I know, I know, there will be other quilt shows and other schmoozing opportunities, but to miss one of each on the same weekend!!

Okay I'm sighing way to much. Sorry to be a downer. I'm really in a happy mood today. Got some more bulbs put out over the weekend, and I'm heading outside after this post to get some more in before the rain starts. We're supposed to get rain all week - yippee! Oh! I was going to show you a picture of my little Jane Magnolia blooming for the first time...okay, it's up at the top of the page now. I haven't figured out how to make the picture stay by its text yet...My genius daughter will let me in on that trick, I'm sure (thanks!)

Well, as much as I love to sit and chat with you guys, I've got to get out in the yard before the rain starts. Love you all bunches!!

~pinkie

Principals of Medication 101

Lesson One:

Even if you are taking an anti-depressant for hot flashes rather than the medication's intended use, it will still mess you up to stop taking it cold turkey.

Holy Effexor, Batman!

My hot flashes have tapered off significantly, so on Monday I took my last Effexor and didn't refill the prescription. Early yesterday afternoon, I called my husband to tell him I felt bad and might not be much help with the grandkids that night (supposedly from not sleeping well on Wednesday which is becoming a regular occurrence at our house) and proceeded to bawl and boo hoo all over him. He's about to panic and asks me what's happened. Of course, I tearfully reply, "Nothiiiiiinnnng." A couple of hours later I call my best friend, Sheila, and repeat the process only she has to listen to me cry for about thirty minutes while the dh got the five minute treatment. That's what best friends are for, right? And why the d in dh doesn't stay at darling all the time.

I also got the I'm-starving-no-I'm-too-sick-to-eat treatment. All while my grandson wants me to get my sorry sick booty off the couch and help him with his floor puzzles and figure out why his video game isn't working and steam him some broccoli (yes, he adores the stuff) and etc. and etc.

This morning I awaken much worse. My brain is a total fog and I'm having these weird electrical symptoms - that's the only way I can think of to describe them. Every so often, when I blink my eyes, it sounds and feels like those old-fashioned camera bulbs going off - remember those? I proceeded immediately to the phone, called in my refill, and have now taken a dose. From now on, I'll do what I should have done in the first place and taper off S-L-O-W-L-Y.

~pinkie, shaking her head and heading off to have a nice bowl of Southwest Tomato soup since she's no longer nauseated

Fabulous Salmon Salad

Found a recipe today that is super delicious (actually I found it a long time ago but just now tried it today - hehehe).

Old Fashioned Salmon Salad:

While grilling 2-4 portions of salmon with salt and pepper,

In a blender combine:

1/4 cup canola oil
1/4 cup cherry preserves (I used no sugar added cherry pie filling)
2 T cider vinegar
2 tsp mustard (sounds weird but really yummy)

Set aside.

Dice:
1 pear
1 avocado
4 green onions

and mix with 1 c. chopped almonds (use honey glazed or raw - I used raw)

Layer a few baby spinach leaves (1/4 to 1/2 cup) on each plate, add your diced mixture, top with salmon and drizzle with cherry dressing. Serve with heated flour tortillas (heat them up with a bit of italian cheese to add dairy to this nutrient packed meal).

I absolutely stuffed myself. Happy eating everyone!
~pinkie

Lovin' the Rain!!

My backyard is partially flooded, and I'm loving it! Maybe everyone's allergies will settle down at last now. The dh has been horribly sick with them for three weeks or so, and we're both sick and tired of him being sick and tired!

The rain also means I'm stuck in the house writing instead of working in the yard, and I need that. Two more of my chapter buddies have gotten agents, and it makes me lust all the more for my turn. Gotta get the book done, though, and I'm soooooo close.

Off to work - I'll post more later in the week!

~pinkie

New Bulb Count

That's 61 hostas and 66 caladiums. Yikes! And yes, I have **huge** flowerbeds, mostly shade. I'll post pics when everything starts coming up. Bye now!

~pinkie

Dogs are a many splendored thing

My dogs are too funny. I was out working on the yard today. I'm planting bulbs, and I put some bone meal down as I went. My smaller dog (the one I posted the picture of with the popcorn bag stuck to his head) thinks I'm holding out on him now. He smells bone, and he wants it. When the other dog goes anywhere near where the bulbs are planted, Sam gets after him. WE don't want Max getting to the imaginary bone before he does. No sir!

The whole time I'm working out there, Sam's whining and barking at me wanting to know where I've hidden the bones. Then later, I come in, and the big dog, Max, starts licking the bone meal dust off my shoes.

Haaaa, that was a good laugh. Just so you'll know how many bulbs we're talking about, last fall I bought 40 grape hyacinths, 30 of some little white flower I forgot the name of, 40 red tulips, 60 crocuses, and 12 ferns. I never put them out, but I left them on the table outside and now they're sprouting. Now on to the spring bulbs. I have purchased 12 calla lilies to go with my one lonely one I've had for several years, 40 or so hostas, 40 or so caladiums, 4 arabian night dahlias (gorgeous), 12 astilbe, and that's all I can remember at the moment. Lord have mercy. I'm having a ball. Can't wait to see my yard in another few weeks.

Oh, and the grandkids and I started 24 each of trailing petunia, delphinium, and lavender in seed pods last week. The first seedlings poked their heads up today. I also got morning glory seeds to climb up the bare trellises in the dog's part of the yard. They dig up whatever potted stuff I put out, so I'm just going to scatter the seeds. The good thing about morning glories is you can't get rid of them if you try.

As you might suspect, I'm exhausted. Going to bed now. Happily. Very happy indeed. May the sun shine brightly in your world too!

~pinkie

New Web Coming in Sight

It looks like Mr and Mrs Pinkie will probably be changing webs soon. Mr. Pinkie has been scouring the internet and we've looked at a couple. I swore I'd never move again, but I must admit, he's won me over to his side. We looked at one yesterday, and ooo-la-la people...it was fabulous.

I went to Sheila's on Friday night to help them solidify their plans for the baby nursery, and it is going to be amazing. She doing it in knights, castles, wizards, and dragons. Her dh is going to make turrets to stand at each corner of the baby bed and a crenallated (the sawtooth pattern at the top of castle walls) shelf to go around three walls about a foot from the ceiling. A friend is going to paint a mural on the non-shelved wall, and we just learned another friend's daughter is mucho talented and can help too. Can't wait to get it done. My next step is to show up ready to paint next Saturday.

Which means, I need to get a lot of writing done this week, so here I go. Love you all!

~pinkie