Just finished reading Jill Monroe's Share the Darkness today and loved, loved, loved it!! The main character, Hannah Garrett, is on the run from a real bad@$$, and yummy agent Ward Cassidy is just the man to put her world to right. Hannah is so well drawn and sympathetic, I couldn't help but cheer for her. I also want to live in the safe house by the lake and learn how to skip rocks. Way to go, Jill!! Amazon has one copy left with more on the way. You can probably still get it at eHarlequin. Her next book, Hitting the Mark, will be out in Feb. Look for great things from this author!

Hope you all had a great weekend. We took Brooklyn to the fair which was totally fun. I actually found a few things I could eat. I had a Turkey leg, the beans and salad part of an Indian taco, and roasted corn - not the best fare, but nothing to completely wreck my healthy eating. I found an excellent recipe for shrimp creole - I'm actually learning to eat the little buggers, which is nice since I get tired of salmon all the time.

Thank goodness for Southern Living magazine. I've found a ton of great recipes, and the best thing is - you guessed it - they're southern! The older I get, the more I feel my settler's roots. Even down to the old frontier work ethic where you don't sit on the pity pot. You get your behinney up and work your way through whatever you face. You never give in. Always fight. I think that's why I can't be taken all the way down spiritually by this disease. Yeah, every now and then I sink to the floor and whine (healthy in my opinion), but more of the time, my ancestry will barely let me acknowledge I have a disease. Thank you, God, for a legacy of strong women!

One time, a coworker was surprised that I know how to drive a trailer and our account director said, "Sure she does. She's a country girl." The more I think about that, the better I like it. You know how you find out something new about yourself (not always good, but -- we won't talk about that side right now) and it just fits with your image of yourself? That was one of those moments.

One more thing. I got the coolest bookmark from my coworkers (yes, they are the best). It says:

What Cancer Cannot Take From You

It cannot take away your Faith, shatter your Hope, or lessen your Love. It cannot destroy true Friendship, invade the Soul, or take away Eternal Life. It cannot conquer your Spirit.

Don't you love that? Stuff like that I receive shores me up in all the times when I'd like to break down. There're more challenges in my life than cancer, and sometimes they like to gang up on me. Too bad for them, because God has used my friends to provide me with several potent weapons for my defense.

Well, gals, I'd better get on with it. Time to exercise (oh doody...) Hubby says I'll get to where I like doing it. Yeah. Still waiting on that one.

Love ya!

~pinkie

My doctor talks alot about quality of life. She's speaking in the medical aspect, of course, but that phrase has come to mean more to me than I would ever have imagined. Daily, it seems, my quality of life grows higher and higher. I love being home, feathering my nest (and cleaning out all the clutter of way too many feathers...) I love every moment of my life now. Perhaps I appreciate each moment more.

Quality of life is greeting my husband at the door each evening.

Quality of life is my precious daughter on the other end of the phone and anticipating her arrival for Christmas.

Quality of life is my son calling in the middle of the day to tell me how college and work are going and to see how I'm doing.

Quality of life is eating lunch at school with my grandson every Tuesday and picking him up from school on Thursdays.

Quality of life is taking my granddaughter to the fair and anticipating the arrival of her new little brother.

Quality of life is seeing so many of my friends fill a room wearing their "I Wear Pink for the Spyder" shirts.

Quality of life is reading a great romance written by one of my best friends.

Tonight I'm listening to Celine on the CD player and feeling incredibly grateful. I have the best friend I've longed for all my life and a circle of love created by so many great people. I feel the touch of God on a daily basis. There are those who say there's nothing better than being loved by a dog - unless it's two dogs. I think back on how scared Sam was when he first came to live with us, and now he trusts and loves us implicitly. I love my house, my yard, my car. Material things, yes, but they are part of my contentment. They are blessings just the same. Everyday the postman brings love in the form of cards from people I hardly know. So much love and caring in the world. How could I not be grateful? My heart bursts with it.

To everyone who reads this - you are a blessing. Never forget that. You have touched a life with happiness and warmth. Nothing is better to me than your smile and the touch of your hand. *That*'s quality of life.

~Pinkie

And a fine Wednesday morning to all you blogsters out there! I can't believe it's been a week since my last post. I've been a busy, busy girl. My weekend at the writers' retreat at Quartz Mountian Lodge was extremely cool. Our speaking was Mel Odom. I have one word for that man - awesome! Really enjoyed his class.

Even better than that was hanging out with the gals (Mel, you can be an honorary 'gal'). My friend Betty was sick most of the weekend, so I didn't get to see her much :-( I did get to spend time with some friends that have moved away (Hi Jodi and Alice!!). There were about 18-19 of us, and I had a great time. Everyone wore their "I Wear Pink For the Spyder" t-shirts and/or hats on Saturday. What a great bunch, huh?

The area around the lodge is absolutely beautiful. If you've never been out there, I highly recommend it, especially if you're an artist or writer. Wonderful creative air there.

Yesterday I went to have lunch at school with my grandson. I took him some of the "chicken noodle" soup that Chinese places have. Yep, you guessed it - it's really egg drop soup, but Alec likes to call it chicken noodle. I also got him some shrimp fried rice and dug out all the shrimp for him. I'm hoping he can spend the night with us Friday and go to the fair on Saturday morning.

While I'm thinking about it, a couple of people have asked me about the possibility of MD Anderson in Houston. Lane and I have checked it out, and there's nothing they can do for me that won't be done here unless I go into a clinical trial (which they aren't having at the moment). If I go into a clinical trial, I take the chance of ending up in the control group (that gets the placebo). Besides that, about 95% of clinical trials have to be scrapped because they don't get the result they thought they might. In other words, it's just not really worth pulling up stakes at this point. If they do have a clinical trial that starts looking promising, I'll be one of the first to get the new drug anyway. I won't have to wait for FDA approval. Information like that disseminates really quickly in the medical community. As far as regular treatment, MD Anderson won't do anything different from my doctor here.

Well, I'd better get to work. Got lots to do today! Love you all!

Whew! Had a majorly busy week work-wise last week and didn't get to write. It's not easy trying to squeeze 5 days of work into 3 (burned my last bit of vacation on Friday to go to the lake). This was our last trip with the boat. I'm thinking thank goodness maybe now I can get caught up, but Lane was pretty sad. He's really, really enjoyed it. We had an incredibly relaxing weekend for our last lake hurrah.

Max and Sam (the dogs) got to chase an armadillo for a short while until "mom" stopped them. There were cranes and geese at the water's edge. It was really pretty, but definitely the buggiest place we've been. Lane and Jimmy only caught three little catfish and let them go, but they thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. We found a steakhouse in Wichita Falls that was super yummy. I had grilled shrimp. Still having trouble with the texture, but I'm determined to learn to eat them. I get tired of salmon all the time.

Next weekend is the OKRWA retreat - yippee!! I'm so excited to see all you rowdy outlaws!!

Speaking of which - Rinda and Deb, trust me, you'll give up the thermal sleepwear the minute you hit menopause. Then you get to start freezing him out...oh yeah.... Betty, I don't know about the one here because I'm always in Slodeatha during the Labor Day weekend (not in Dallas). They probably do.

Di and Sara.........grab those belly jewels. You can be the retreat evening entertainment - yeeehaw!! I love it!

Sheila, no belly dancing for you for a while. Got to take care of that precious treasure in your tummy!! I'm already dreaming of babysitting and cuddling the little cutie. I'll be Aunt Nell again. Or he/she can call me Nana like the grandkids.

Gotta get to work now. Love you all!! I can feel your prayers and loving thoughts every minute of the day!

~pinkie

Whew! Had a majorly busy week work-wise last week and didn't get to write. It's not easy trying to squeeze 5 days of work into 3 (burned my last bit of vacation on Friday to go to the lake). This was our last trip with the boat. I'm thinking thank goodness maybe now I can get caught up, but Lane was pretty sad. He's really, really enjoyed it. We had an incredibly relaxing weekend for our last lake hurrah.

Max and Sam (the dogs) got to chase an armadillo for a short while until "mom" stopped them. There were cranes and geese at the water's edge. It was really pretty, but definitely the buggiest place we've been. Lane and Jimmy only caught three little catfish and let them go, but they thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. We found a steakhouse in Wichita Falls that was super yummy. I had grilled shrimp. Still having trouble with the texture, but I'm determined to learn to eat them. I get tired of salmon all the time.

Next weekend is the OKRWA retreat - yippee!! I'm so excited to see all you rowdy outlaws!!

Speaking of which - Rinda and Deb, trust me, you'll give up the thermal sleepwear the minute you hit menopause. Then you get to start freezing him out...oh yeah.... Betty, I don't know about the one here because I'm always in Slodeatha during the Labor Day weekend (not in Dallas). They probably do.

Di and Sara.........grab those belly jewels. You can be the retreat evening entertainment - yeeehaw!! I love it!

Sheila, no belly dancing for you for a while. Got to take care of that precious treasure in your tummy!! I'm already dreaming of babysitting and cuddling the little cutie. I'll be Aunt Nell again. Or he/she can call me Nana like the grandkids.

Gotta get to work now. Love you all!! I can feel your prayers and loving thoughts every minute of the day!

~pinkie

Ah, darlings, I had a marvelous weekend! Billy Crystal couldn't even express how mahvelous it was.

It started out kind of rough, though. I got my IV treatment on Thursday with the Zometa (which reduces the release and breakdown of calcium from the bone caused by the cancer). Both the doctor and the nurse said most people have little or no side effects - maybe a bit of pain in the bones -------------------------------

Once again, I get to prove I'm not most people (thankfully it works in the positive way as well as the negative - look how well I tolerated the chemo last year). Of the 9 possible side effects, I got to experience 7 of them: bone pain, confusion (slight), fever (low grade), joint pain (excruciating at times), loss of appetite, nausea (really fun when we had to rock and roll around a thunderstorm between Dallas and west Texas), and tiredness. I took one of Lane's Percocets before I left the house to save my 3 remaining Darvocets for the trip. That may have been in the top 5 decisions I have made in my lifetime right after accepting Jesus, having children, marrying my wonderful husband, and deciding to take a chance and ride to DARA with Sheila that first time. If I had had one less Darvocet, I'd have been calling my doctor in the middle of the night to beg her to call a prescription in to the Walgreen's behind mom's house.

Oh---my gosh. I'll spare you further details, but it was bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

Bad.

Woke up Saturday to a brand new day. Had to take a couple of doses of Tylenol (ibuprofen interacts with the Zometra, isn't that weird) but generally felt 100% better. We went to our fav quilt store and I spent $80 on quilt books (oh, but they're so cool!). Then my Aunt Judy (she's the one who sent me a card and letter every week during chemo without fail) and cousin Robin came down to see me. We went to lunch at Chili's (I had salmon, fresh vegetables, and rice - yummy [seriously]) and visited the rest of the afternoon.

Sunday we made our usual trip to JC Penney where I got 2 beautiful and elegant gowns for $4 each - yes, folks, there are no zeros missing from that figure. I got a matching robe for one of them for another $4. That's why we go every year at this time. I always find something really cool really cheap, but this year was the coup de grace. I got 2 cute little medieval princess books for Brooklyn, one with the alphabet and one with opposites. They're so cute!!! And you know what medieval mania I have.

Went to see Barnyard Sunday night, and it's definitely worth a peek. Really cute.

Monday, we went to Hastings and I went nuts on CD's like always. At the checkout, I picked up a pocket feng shui book and read it all the way home that evening. A lot of it makes uncanny sense. We'll be feng shui-ing the house over the next few weeks.

The diet is getting easier by the day. It has now been just over a week since I've had any sugar. That may be why it's been so cool and rainy. I'm pretty sure hell froze over. Got a chance to work on my notebook and get some standby entries done to help establish my routine. Was gratified when my food looked and tasted every bit as good as the rest of the family's.

Well, work's calling, so I'd better get busy. I plan to actually get some writing done today (a little more frost on the brimstone there - hehehe). Love you guys as always and can't wait to see my writing buddies weekend after next - yippee!!

~pinkie

I'm so sorry I've been away from the web so long, but I've been one busy, busy spyder. Changing your entire diet, adding exercise (both cardio and weight training) is a full time job and plus my real full time job. I am hopping from the time I get up in the morning until I go to bed. Once I get the eating, etc., down to a routine, I should have a bit more free time. Of course, then I'll immediately take it all up with writing!!

Okay - update on me....

Got some potentially good news at the doctor's yesterday. I had my PET scan last week and it didn't show much of anything which may mean the cancer cells haven't gathered in sufficient quantities (it takes like, a million cells in one spot to show up) to show yet. The biopsy also showed them somewhat scattered in the pelvic region. Hopefully that means they've just gotten started and I have a chance to get my diet, etc., down before they start doing their degeneration thing.

I also had my first IV treatment with Zometa (I think that's right) yesterday. It took about 20 minutes. The nurse was pretty rough with the needle, and if she does it again, I'll request she not do it anymore. It hurt almost the whole time. The last time it hurt like that, I ended up with phlebitis, and I don't need that complication right now. I woke up last night with my arm bones and shoulder and wrist joints really hurting from the medication, but a Percocet fixed that right up. They're fine this morning.

I'll have blood tests (to monitor my kidneys) and the IV treatments every four weeks, have a CT scan in 3 months and then see my doctor again. Oh, and guess what else - the fun just never stops. You're gonna love this. I have to have a colonoscopy. Oh doody! (As Tweety would say...) The PET scan showed extra activity in the colon. The doctor doesn't think it's cancer, but she said, "Well, you'll have to have one eventually..." so here I go. Ah well.

I'm headed off to my mom's place this afternoon for the weekend. I'll fly to Dallas to meet my sister and we'll fly together from there. Now that really is a yippee of the highest order. Got to see my critique buds last night and mom and sis this weekend - that alone should raise my survival percentage by a few points!!

I'm behind on my work, so I'd better get my day started. Just wanted to pop in and let you all know I'm doing well and my spirits are up. Don't worry if you don't hear from me for a few days because I will be working madly next week to get caught up. Love you all, and I pray God's blessings on you daily!

~pinkie