Just dropping in for a sec to let everyone know I have not abandoned the web. I'm on my way to the mom's house tomorrow and will resume posting next week. Happy holidays all!!!

~pinkie

Found this again tonight and just had to share it - it's rather long, but good info - thank you Betty for sending this to me!!

apples
Protects your heart
prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints

apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process

artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease

avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin

bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea

beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar

beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss

blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation

broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure

cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids

cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system

carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss

cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease

cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's

chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure

chili peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses (I've always said this, but it's really true! hehehe)
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system

figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure

fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system

flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system

garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
kills bacteria
Fights fungus

grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol

grapes
saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart

green tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria

honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies

lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy

limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy

mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's

mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones

oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
prevents constipation
Smoothes skin

olive oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin

onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus

oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Straightens respiration


peaches
prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids

peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates
diverticulitis

pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea

prunes
Slows aging process
prevents constipation
boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease

rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes

strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
boosts memory
Calms stress


sweet potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones


tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart


walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease

water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin


watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure

wheat germ
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion

wheat bran
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion

yogurt
Guards against ulcers
Strengthens bones
Lowers cholesterol
Supports immune systems
Aids digestion

Christmas season is definitely here...

...because I'm stressing over money. Figuring what to put on credit cards and how much to transfer from my savings account. Oh, and did I mention OU room & board was due? Ah, thank you, God, that I have such things to worry about!

Actually, I shouldn't say worry. I should say thanks for giving me things to exercise my faith on. I keep telling myself the opposite of faith is worry and fear, and I'm determined not to live in worry or fear for one more second than I can humanly manage.

Most of my Christmas list was crossed off on Black Friday - yippee!! I've been trying to find a Zune on sale, but no luck yet. Laura - if you're reading this DO NOT show it to Brian - hehehe. For those of you who haven't heard me rave about my wonderful son-in-law, let me immediately bring you up to date - he is the best. He is very good to my daughter (even picking up and moving to Boston with her so she could get her Master's) and he's very good to me and the rest of my family. When I went to visit last year, he made me feel so at home. Oh, and as a side perk - his mom is one heck of a cook.

Ah, it feels good to be alive today.

Oh! I almost forgot it's food tip Tuesday (feels like Monday since I was so off my game yesterday). Here's an easy way to lower fat in egg dishes - leave out the yolks. I do this in all my recipes except scrambled eggs in which I leave 1 out of every 3 egg yolks for coloring and flavor.

Here's a recipe where you can try this out:

Coconut Waffles:

1-3/4 c. all-purpose flour (can split 1/2 white and 1/2 wheat for more nutrition)
3 T Splenda
1 T baking powder
4 egg whites
1 14 oz. can unsweetened coconut milk
6 T Smart Squeeze (or other healthy butter substitute, melted - I like Smart Squeeze because it doesn't have to be melted first)
3/4 cup UNSWEETENED coconut (available at health food stores)

In a medium bowl combine flour, sugar, baking powder and a dash of salt. Make a well in center of flour mixture; set aside. In another medium bowl lightly beat eggs; stir in coconut milk and melted butter substitute. Stir in coconut. Add egg mixture all at once to flour mixture. Stir just until moistened (batter should be slightly lumpy). Cook in waffle iron and enjoy!

My dh likes these with 100% Maple Syrup. I eat them plain (if my weight is up) or with about 2 T of Maple syrup, berries mixed with Splenda, and whipping cream sweetened with Splenda and vanilla extract (I don't use Cool Whip because of the hydrogenated oils).

Hugs and kisses!!
~pinkie

Notice the new historical research blog I found under COOLEST PLACES TO GO. Very cool, guys!
~pinkie

Out-of-commission-Monday Post

Black Friday was a great and fun success for me (praise God!). MIL & I showed up at Walmart at a little after 4am (and yes, we consider this fun...). I parked my cart by the Dora TV/DVD combos for the granddaughter and MIL scooted over to the meat section where the grownup TV's were stashed. Just to give you a picture: all the doorbusters were on pallets in various aisles. The pallets were covered with brown paper and polywrapping with a sign saying what they contained. You had to wait until 5am for an employee to come open your pallet and then it was off to the races.

This was my first Black Friday Walmart experience (we usually start at Best Buy), and it wasn't half bad. People were really cool except one guy who got a heel creamed by a shopping cart and was taking it out on his wife. This is why you should *not* bring the dh unless he's fully invested in the prize hunt. They get overwhelmed and turn vicious (hehehe).

Okay, I got the TV and headed for the next gift (which shall remain nameless since the designated recipient reads this blog). I had heard from an off-duty employee that WalMart hadn't gotten many of these in, so I held little hope of getting my hands on one. Oh me of little faith. When I got to that department, I learned they hadn't found the pallet with these on them yet. Turns out they were under something else. They found them while I was standing there. Got one for me and one for the unnamed one...

Headed for the next item (the identity of which escapes me at the moment - I'm nearly to the point where I can wrap my own Xmas presents and hide my own Easter eggs...) and a similar thing happened. They found them just as I was - ah! I remember what it was - Game Boy Advance games 2 for 19.99. I got there just as they found them and grabbed 3 packs. Nevermind that I hadn't bought the Game Boy Advance yet - that's a later story.

Checked out and on the way out to the car realized the SB cards I'd bought did not say they were $1.88 (what a great price - I grabbed 4). They said they were 1gb (I gotta wear my glasses more often). The price was $13.87 each. Had to return 3 of them later that night. The other I need for the dh gift.

Headed for Radio Shack (for MIL & SIL), then to Home Depot for a FIL gift (super cool). They were already out, but we saw what looked like an abandoned cart with one in it. Asked the sales person, and he asked the guy at the register who said, "I have one right here that a guy didn't want after all." - Woo hoo!! Bought the gift immediately (along with two instant cell phone chargers I had to return because I wasn't smart enough to check for the proper connectors on the back...)

On to Sears! SIL was at Sears south location earlier and checked for my Game Boy Advance - they stopped carrying game systems. On the way north, I called the other Sears to make sure they had the games. Yes, they did. When I got there one guy thought they were out. Another said there were three. Another lady was ahead of me looking for the same thing. A gal checked the back and thankfully found two (whew!). The other gal wanted the pink one, and was trying to talk her friend into taking the other. Of course, I immediately grabbed the blue one from the sales clerk's hand and headed for the checkout. (I was very sweet but firm about it.)

Went to Michael's and spent money on myself (I didn't want anyone to be left out!) and learned they did not carry the perfect gift I wanted for my dh. Went to the Wherehouse (now FYE) and got a couple of key gifts (one for my daughter to give me for Xmas). We stopped and ate breakfast and headed to Kohl's around ten. SIL and I rushed around gathering up gifts while my genius MIL found the fastest moving line (they were out of the perfect gift for the dh). We were in and out of there in about 45 minutes when it should have taken at *least* two hours.

Nixed Gordman's and every other store on my list (that's why you go in order of importance). Went home and listed what I'd bought and what was still needed for our Dallas shopping trip next week. Made sure I'd charged the right amounts on my card and the dh's card (we split by families - his checking account never knows what my checking account is doing and vice versa - hehehe). Got online at Best Buy and finally ordered perfect gift for dh for only $10-20 more than the other places. Still cheap.

Fell into bed and slept 5 hours. Did I mention I was going on 2 hours sleep from the night before? Was groggy the rest of the evening...

Ah, good times had by all! Black Friday has been one of my favorite days of the year (maybe the favorite) since my MIL inducted me into the ranks 3 years ago. Part of the fun is being done.

Did I say done? On the news this morning, I learn of Cyber Monday - holy cow, you mean it's not over? Evidently the online merchants want to get in on the action, so they're staging a big early morning sale of their own. Excuse me while I faint...

Okay, I'm back. I don't think I'll be participating in Cyber Monday this year. These things take preparation and planning. Intestinal fortitude. Ah, speaking of which - the colonoscopy is tomorrow which is why I'm posting today. I've drank the first bottle of lovely Magnesium Citrate and I have stocked up on liquids for my clear liquid diet today. The one high spot is the jello.

Okay, time to get serious now. Monday is meditation day, and I'll keep it simple. Next Sunday begins Advent which is the looking forward to celebrating Jesus' birth. We sing carols of His coming and meditate on the story of Mary and Joseph. My mission this month is to truly celebrate Advent as was originally intended. As I go through my many Christmas traditions, I plan to keep Jesus and my gratitude for His work here on earth in the center of it all. Even spyders need salvation, ya know.

Love you all!
~pinkie

Best Thanksgiving EVER!

Got the results of my CT scan yesterday, and the cancer has not progressed one bit - woo hoo!!! Thank you, God!

Happy Turkey day, my friends,
~pinkie

The Labyrinth

The dh and I went with another couple to walk the labyrinth at the First United Methodist Church in Edmond a couple of nights ago. Here's a link for more inforation: http://www.fumcedmond.org/labyrinth.html . What a great experience. It got me thinking about the scripture that says we should always be ready to give an answer for the hope that's within us.

Like many people, I've always been afraid to witness to others. What do I say? Do I have to point out how wrong they are to not believe? Or that their beliefs are wrong? A yes to that last question seems rather arrogant to me. I attended the Church of Christ with my first husband for ten years, and we were supposed to reach out to those of other denominations and point them to the "true" way. I tried, but eventually I came to the realization of how arrogant that appears. Not that members of the COC are arrogant - most of the people I knew were beautiful, humble, highly spiritual people. I still love them dearly and think of them often although they are several hundred miles away and seem to be part of a different lifetime now. But just the concept that a group of faulty human beings (as we all are) way back in the day figured every scripture out perfectly - that's impossible. Yes, the Bible is of no private interpretation, but who's to say who's right and who's wrong (except in obvious cases, of course)?

I should also mention that it's been my experience that people don't respond to being told they're wrong or that they're going to hell. So what do they respond to? How do I find a way to witness that works for me? Obviously the COC way wasn't it.

That realization came to a head during my divorce when only one person from two congregations contacted me to see how I was doing. It was the asst. preacher from the previous congregation and not someone I knew well or was comfortable with, but at least he showed up. None of my friends (so-called) visited or called a single time. These were people I thought I was close to. Who I thought cared deeply for me. Divorce is a no-no in the COC, and they'd already written me off I guess. I knew I wanted no part of that kind of church. May God forgive them for their lack of charity (and save me from making similar mistakes!).

So that plunked me down where I am now. What do I say? How do I bring people to Christ as I'm supposed to?

I've found the answer in the scripture about being ready to give an answer for the hope that is within me. It doesn't say to critique anyone else's walk. It doesn't say to tell anyone they're going to hell. In fact, the Bible says who am I to judge another man's (God's) servant? Nobody, that's who. I'm a servant myself, in fact.

Give an answer for the hope...hmmm

My dh has the handle on this. He says that all he can do is tell others what God has done for him personally, what he's been shown so far, and what's worked for him. There's my answer, I think. That's what attracts people to Christ. Let them see what I've got, and if they want that same peace and joy, they'll ask for more. I can do that, and I have quite a bit to offer.

God's brought me through some really dark times in my life, including a total remodeling of my faith. I mean, we gutted the place completely (I was so afraid that my faith was gone for good at that point!) and put up new walls, new paint, new furniture (really cushy digs for the Holy Spirit to live inside me - I want Him to stay forever!) - the whole bit. I stopped living through the faith of others and began figuring out what I really believe and what God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit really are to me. Since then, I've even had a personal revelation or two - really small ones, but they meant a lot to me.

Well, that's probably enough rambling for now. God didn't say to go on and on in one big blast of information (aren't you glad!!). Feel free to post comments about your own walk. I want to hear your answers for your hope too. You might have the key to the next step upward in my walk. That's why God put us in community. We need each other to keep moving forward. Tell me what you think. I need you.

Eight-legged hugs and big smoochy kisses,
~pinkie

It's Food Tip Tuesday!!

That's right, boys and girls. You thought it was only a wonderful dream, a wish that couldn't possibly come true... The desire of your heart has just pulled into reach. Someone telling you how you should eat. *sigh*

If you know me, you know I'm bossy, but I don't take points away for non-compliance. At least you get a great recipe for your trouble, right? I'm also going to give you the inside scoop on the healthy living contest for so you can get started right away. (I'm excited and couldn't wait for next week.)

Okay, last week we talked about getting off the deep-fried and/or breaded foods and switching from iceberg lettuce to romaine or spinach. Another great little trick is to chop up vegetables you don't like (which means broccoli for me and carrots for the dh) really small (I use a mincer or food processor) and hide them in other foods - sprinkle on salads, mix in soups and sauces, fold into mashed potatoes - whatever. I even put them in my Mexican salsa. The flavor is totally hidden when you hide them this way. Try to get as many servings as possible every day. Here are the biggies to try and hit:

Cruciferous - broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage
Dark leafy greens - romaine, spinach, collard greens, etc.
Betacarotene - carrots, sweet potatoes
Lycopene - tomatoes (canned tomatoes actually have as much or more lycopene than fresh)

And the contest is (drum roll please) - Starting today, every day you go without breaded and/or fried foods, you get to post for a spot in the drawing. For each serving of the above vegetables you eat in a day you get to post for a spot in the drawing. A serving is about 1/2 cup (in the veggie's natural state, not chopped). You guys can do that, right?

Drawing will be next Tuesday and the prize is a $10 online gift certificate. Those of you who get this through email rather reading on the website can send me emails of your eating accomplishments.

There now - on with the recipe of the week:

Peach & Blueberry Cobbler

Spread 1 bag (or more) of frozen peaches in a 13 X 9 X 2 inch pan and top with 1/2 to 1 bag (or more) of frozen blueberries. Sprinkle with 3 T of Splenda and 1 T (or more if you like) of cinnamon. Set aside.

In large bowl combine 2 cups all-purpose flour (for more nutrition, you can do 1/2 white and 1/2 wheat flour), 2/3 cup (equals 2 individual packages) of instant oatmeal, 1-1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp baking soda, and 1/2 tsp salt. Mix well. Add 6 T Smart Squeeze (or melted light butter or other healthy margarine) and mix with fork until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add 12 oz of nonfat, no sugar added vanilla yogurt (I use Dannon Light & Fit). Mix until dough comes together (does not have to be perfectly smooth). Spoon onto fruit and sprinkle liberally with Splenda. Bake at 350 for 45-50 minutes until fruit is tender and oat topping is golden brown. Let cool for 10-15 minutes before serving. Top with vanilla frozen yogurt if desired.

Yummy for the tummy!! In fact, I'm about to go reheat myself a serving right now!

Have a great Tuesday!!
~pinkie

Contest Time!!!

My goal for this blog is to encourage my friends to learn and practice healthier living and - for my writer friends - to write, write, write!

So...

I'm sponsoring a writing contest this week to see how much news we can rack up to celebrate on Friday. Post any good news (contest finals, requests from agents or editors, sales, hitting the "lists" (NYT, USA Today, Waldenbooks, etc.), RWA PRO status and the like) or any milestones reached (finished chapter, finished manuscript, five days of writing in a row, submission to a contest, editor, or agent). If you think your news fits anywhere close to these guidlines, post a comment anytime this week. The more news you post, the greater your chances of winning!

On Friday, I'll put all the posts in a hat and draw a winner.

Prize will be a $10 online gift certificate.

Next week will be a healthier lifestyle contest, so tune in next Monday...

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

I've been doing my daily devotionals from a book called "Joy for the Journey - A Woman's Book of Joyful Promises" and one struck me as essential to share with all of my women friends:

Originally from Gail MacDonald's "High Call, High Privilege"

"A fellow-learner in a class I taught shared thoughts about the tendency of many woment to fight depression in the fall of the year. She reminded us that Psalm 1 suggests that we are all to be like trees planted by a stream - trees which bear fruit "in...season." Her insight? That even trees don't flower and bear fruit all the time - only in season. But men and women alike seem to think that we should be bearing fruit all the time; we punish ourselves when we're not. She was teaching us the beauty of personal dormancy: We must allow for it and accept it joyfully...A time of inner strength-gathering for a better bloom later."

I would add to this insight that God also doesn't expect us to bear the fruit of two or three trees at a time either. Those of you raising small children, working full-time (or overtime!), battling disease - whatever drives your days - don't expect to bear a lot of fruit in every area of your life or maybe even in any area. Do what you can; God will bring a more fruitful season to your life later if you'll just handle the full plate in front of you now.

God bless you all (and don't forget to post!)
~pinkie

Okay - best bumper sticker of the year award:

DON'T HONK - Driver Trying to Sleep

Is that not hysterical??? I *want* one of those - except I don't like bumper stickers on my car (go figure). Another I liked from a few years ago at the Air Force Academy in Colorado had a picture of a bomber jet and said "When it Absolutely, Positively Must be Destroyed Overnight." Love it!

Went to see my office buddies today - always a pick-me-up. [G - take my advice, babe. Preserve your sanity for those beautiful twin grandsons!!] I'm so glad I don't live too far. We've all been together for going on 8 years now, and I don't know how to live without them!

Heard from another writing buddy, Deborahanne MacGillivray. Her new book is out and I heartily recommend anything this gal writes. I'll be getting my copy very, very soon (hurry up, UPS!) Here's the blurb:

Ms. MacGillivray has not only done it again, she's put an entirely new and wonderful twist on the saying! This latest effort has upped the bar for contemporary romance novels today and proved beyond a shadow of a doubt she is an author to watch! B. A. Montgomerie has the daunting task of not only being the sole, eligible woman on an isle of over 200 braw and bonnie Scotsman, but being the Lady of the Isle, is the reason they cannot find wives. Falgannon is home to a centuries old curse boding that no man will sire daughters or find happiness in marriage unless The Lady of the Isle weds a black haired, green-eyed Irishman. As you can imagine, these Scot laddies are none too pleased. So when a man fitting the bill stumbles onto their peaceful island, these peculiar and hilarious characters set to matchmaking. Desmond Mershan has only one thing in mind when he steps foot on Falgannon, and it's not breaking some silly curse. For years he has planned and waited to take his revenge on the Montgomerie clan. However, no amount of caution or planning could have prepared him for the formidable cat and an even more remarkable woman he found hidden like the most rare of treasures on the island. B.A. awakens in him emotions he thought he'd long buried under years and years of hate, and he finds himself almost too willing to let her love assuage his soul. But when the time comes for him to follow through with his plan, will Desmond be able to let go of his past to start a future with B.A? Or will both he and the island Scots forever be doomed to live a life without love?

Speaking of writing buddies, a group of my south-dwelling writing buddies is getting together at my house this weekend for a writing/plotting/brainstorming weekend since the hubby is out of town. I have to get the ms done in time to overnight to the Golden Heart contest (arrival deadline is Dec. 4). I'll also email it to the interested (woo hoo!) agent and hope she likes it well enough to take me on.

Things are going well. I'm working on a new life routine that supports my health, fitness, spiritual, writing, and family goals, and it feels really, really good. Next week, I plan to get this blog organized into daily offerings for all of you so you can follow along with your own healthy and happy living accomplishments. Talk to you then!

Hugs and sweet little spyder kisses!
~pinkie

This is what happens to those creatures without opposable thumbs who try to lick the bottom of an empty popcorn sack...

Poor Sam. His mama isn't very nice putting his picture up on the blog, is she? hehehe

Without further ado, I've been promising to post some of my yummy and nutritious recipes on the blog, so I'll start you off right with something to fix for breakfast in the morning:

Banana Pancakes!!!

In a blender, combine 2 medium bananas, 3 egg whites, 1 T of baking powder, and 1 T of vanilla (use the real stuff). When that's liquified, change your blender to slow speed and slowly pour in 1 cup of oat flour (you can make this by processing old-fashioned oats in a food processor or blender). Pour a pancake's worth of batter into non-stick skillet, cover and cook until the top is nice and bubbly. Turn over and brown the other side.

A couple of days ago, a friend expressed her frustration with where to start in eating more nutritionally. I thought about the process I've gone through, and it wasn't like flicking a light switch. I've worked at it for over 15 months now, and I'm still refining the process. I advised her to take it one step at a time. Pick something - like breaded, fried foods - and cut it out. When you're ready for another small change, stop buying iceberg lettuce and use either romaine or spinach instead. It works in salads, on sandwiches...whatever iceberg (zero food value) can do, romaine or spinach can do better. You just keep going. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to start FOOD TIP TUESDAYS. Once a week I'll come up with another step to better nutritional eating.

One word of caution: Don't fall into the trap of thinking you eat pretty healthy now. I guarantee that for 99% of those reading my blog, it ain't true. Every cancer survivor I've read and every health nut I've talked to makes the comment that they really thought they were eating fairly well at the beginning. One is even a dietician, and she was shocked when she kept a food diary and realized how poor her own eating habits were.

As the commander of the avaition school TOP GUN told Tom Cruise and the guys, "You think you're good? We'll make you better."

Night, night all. God bless and forget the mess - concentrate on rest.

~pinkie

Time for a doctor visit rant...

Went to the colon doctor, had my teeth cleaned and went to the general practitioner today. I now have a CT scan (that was previously scheduled) tomorrow, an MRI (for my shoulder problem which looks like a rotator cuff thing) on Monday, blood work on Monday for my next Zometa treatment, oncologist visit and Zometa treatment on Tuesday, and (drum roll, please) a colonoscopy on the Monday after Thanksgiving. Oh, and I need to schedule an eye exam sometime between now and the end of the year - woo hoo!

Not.

There will not be an inch of my body - inside and out, mind you - that someone will not have looked at up close and personal, trimmed, scraped, pinched, or pictorialized by the time my life is said and done. This is not how I pictured middle age.

Oh, and did I tell you I read an article today in O magazine that said our noses and ears will appear larger as we grow older? The facial hair, I knew about. Ditto with the droopy cheeks and chins, but my *nose* is going to droop too???? Aw, man...

Okay, enough of that. Uh, oh. Just checked the clock, and I'm late for supper - then prayer group and choir - we'll pick this up tomorrow. Same spyder time. Same spyder channel.

Kiss, kiss, hugs, hugs!!
~pinkie

HowManyOfMe.com

There is: 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

That is, there is 1 person with my first and last name. However, there are 14,998 people in the country with my real first name - 99.9% of them are male [groan!]. It's the 1495th most popular name in the US. That's it - I'm using a pseudonym. Thanks to Jill Monroe for coming up with this counter and confirming my suspicions (you rock!!). See my links to the right for her blog which is fabulous!

~pinkie

Finally, I'm back and I'm free!! Free as a cute little pink-bowed spyder.

Oh, yeah. I am a cute little pink-bowed spyder. Ha! Imagine that...

I'm beginning my 47th year of life convinced that this will be among the best years I've ever had. My disability from work has been approved, so my prayers of being a full-time homemaker/writer/quilter have been realized. I have an agent very interested in my writing, and I have time to finish the book she and an editor have expressed interest in. I have time to *really* watch my diet and exercise my way to better health (and hopefully longer life). I am able to begin all those spiritual servanthood projects I've been longing to do. I eat lunch with my grandson once a week and pick him up from school once a week. I'm working on a quilt playmat for my new grandson who's due to arrive in mid-December. I can take care of my husband and actually feel like cooking most days!!

Cancer is a hard thing, but even God can put a shiny thick silver lining to it.

God bless you all - more later!!
~pinkie

I have drugs!!!!!

We finally figured out I have an infection, and I got some medicine yesterday - yay! I feel so much better this morning. It's about time 'cause I am soooo behind on everything. I'm looking forward to catching up. Speaking of which, I'd better get to it. I'll try to post more later....

~pinkie

My, my, my how quickly our attitude can change. Tuesday morning, I remember sitting in my recliner, drinking coffee and watching a wren figure out how to bath in my little fountain. So cute, he couldn't quite get all the way in without his head either sticking out of the fountain or bonking on the tier above. He studied it from every angle - top, around this side, around that side. He did a test run or two. He worked so long, I probably should have known that I, too, was going to have a test in patience. You'd think sick people would be exempt from those, right? I'm innocently relaxing, getting ready to start my day and thinking how fortunate I am to be in just that spot to witness the beauty of nature....

Cue...the maniacal laughter.

I don't remember much else about Tuesday except that lunch with my grandson was good and my head was really stuffy that night. Work was hectic, but I was still keeping my head above water. Had to get my blood drawn for the upcoming Zometra treatment.

Wednesday looked to be good - did I mention I was all caught up on work to that point? That should give you a clue as to what's coming up next. Oh, yeah. The demon internet went down. My electricity has a habit of blinking off and on during the day. It used to do it about every other day, but it's gotten better. It doesn't wink off long enough to reset the clocks, but it knocks my internet, phones, and a few other things out. I got cut off from my business phone conversation, but luckily the phones recover quickly. Not so with the internet.

Now, if I cut out all the cussing, throwing things around, worrying the dogs so much, they spent the whole afternoon in the bedroom hiding...

Ya know, if I leave all that out, I don't have a story. Hmmm. Well, you're just tough out of luck, because I don't really want anyone to know what a child I can be when my intentions are thwarted. I'm bad enough when people are around, so I sure ain't telling what goes on away from eyes. God's the only One Who gets the scoop on that. Suffice to say, there has been some heavy repenting since. I had to run up to the office to do an emergency releases, and my poor coworkers got a full frontal assault. That's when you know it's true love - they're still speaking to me.

Enter hormonal shifts and a sinus infection that really rocks my world from my the top of my nasal cavities to the bottom of my tail bone - if you know what I mean. Oh, baby, that was awl kinds of fun. I'm lightheaded, on half brain speed, and racking up frequent bathroom miles by the dozen. By the time I got the internet working on Thursday (which required a call to the cable company - I actually got my modem reset through an automated service which worked great - I love not having to wait on hold). Anyway, by the time it worked, I'm sick as a dog and so behind on work it's disgusting. Luckily, I'm too sick to care how disgusting it is. Whatever's not barking at me, I ignore. Except the dogs. They're special, and mama was less than parental the day before. Another testament to true love. They know how sick I am and lay quietly beside wherever I am all day.

Anyway, I get through the rest of Thursday and Friday, and I'm feeling about three quarters human on Saturday - enough for a short shopping run late in the afternoon. DH is out of town, so I take it easy most of the day and baby my tummy that's slow to recover. Sunday, I get up and go to church, come home. DH comes home. I still don't feel great, but I cook lunch for him and his girls, including our super cutie granddaughter (always love having the girls around!) and go to the grocery store instead of napping. While I'm putting away groceries, I get a call from his sister about a bible study she wants to start....

I should have known (and kinda did) that when he wanted to interrupt my phone conversation because he just had to say something to me that trouble was brewing. Don't you just hate it when they do that? Here, let me ambush you while someone on the other line listens in and has to wait because I'm banging on my pecs and puffing up my chest, woman! Puh-lease. That's the point where my sunny disposition slides down the dark side. I get off the phone as quickly as I can, and ask what he wanted to say.

First off, I must give him credit. His gripe is legitimate. I'm the world's worst about dragging boxes of stuff into the house and then taking forever to decide where I want to put the crap. Do I need to throw other things away? Does it require assembly? Some of you are grinning and nodding your heads - I can feel it. Well, this behaviour drives him bonkers, and rightly so.

What puts me off first of all is his hovering over me during my phone conversation - I guarantee, if I did that to him, he would be considerably less than appreciative. Second of all, I've been sick and incredibly unproductive for a week, so I'm feeling pressured, behind, inept, and let's not forget those lovely bouncing hormones!! Thirdly, I'd made a promise to myself that I couldn't buy another project or piece of a project unless it completed an already existing project. Believe you me, that's been HARD. I've been completing things right and left until this last week. Wouldn't you know it, some stragglers that I ordered months ago came in and were sitting here and there....

No, I can't put them up because then I'll forget about them and they'll never get done. Yeah, that's what DH says too. And you're both right. *sigh* I really hate it when you guys are right. So I stayed up later than normal last night and got some things done for work and a few things done around the house.

You know how it is after you've been sick and mentally imbalanced for a week - that first good day back, you're either destined for the productive hall of fame trophy or the lowest depths of hell. Yesterday ended in the nether regions. Today, I'm going to stop for a moment and say my prayers because I know I can bank on God to pick me up, dust me off, and send me off on a smoother path for a few days. At least long enough to fool myself into thinking I'm caught up again. Ha!

You guys have a blessed day, and thanks for letting your lunatic friend rant. You know what they say - 1 in 4 people are difficult, so look at your three best friends. If it's not them - it's you. Oh crap, that means I'm in a lot of trouble.

Hugs and kisses,
~pinkie

Just finished reading Jill Monroe's Share the Darkness today and loved, loved, loved it!! The main character, Hannah Garrett, is on the run from a real bad@$$, and yummy agent Ward Cassidy is just the man to put her world to right. Hannah is so well drawn and sympathetic, I couldn't help but cheer for her. I also want to live in the safe house by the lake and learn how to skip rocks. Way to go, Jill!! Amazon has one copy left with more on the way. You can probably still get it at eHarlequin. Her next book, Hitting the Mark, will be out in Feb. Look for great things from this author!

Hope you all had a great weekend. We took Brooklyn to the fair which was totally fun. I actually found a few things I could eat. I had a Turkey leg, the beans and salad part of an Indian taco, and roasted corn - not the best fare, but nothing to completely wreck my healthy eating. I found an excellent recipe for shrimp creole - I'm actually learning to eat the little buggers, which is nice since I get tired of salmon all the time.

Thank goodness for Southern Living magazine. I've found a ton of great recipes, and the best thing is - you guessed it - they're southern! The older I get, the more I feel my settler's roots. Even down to the old frontier work ethic where you don't sit on the pity pot. You get your behinney up and work your way through whatever you face. You never give in. Always fight. I think that's why I can't be taken all the way down spiritually by this disease. Yeah, every now and then I sink to the floor and whine (healthy in my opinion), but more of the time, my ancestry will barely let me acknowledge I have a disease. Thank you, God, for a legacy of strong women!

One time, a coworker was surprised that I know how to drive a trailer and our account director said, "Sure she does. She's a country girl." The more I think about that, the better I like it. You know how you find out something new about yourself (not always good, but -- we won't talk about that side right now) and it just fits with your image of yourself? That was one of those moments.

One more thing. I got the coolest bookmark from my coworkers (yes, they are the best). It says:

What Cancer Cannot Take From You

It cannot take away your Faith, shatter your Hope, or lessen your Love. It cannot destroy true Friendship, invade the Soul, or take away Eternal Life. It cannot conquer your Spirit.

Don't you love that? Stuff like that I receive shores me up in all the times when I'd like to break down. There're more challenges in my life than cancer, and sometimes they like to gang up on me. Too bad for them, because God has used my friends to provide me with several potent weapons for my defense.

Well, gals, I'd better get on with it. Time to exercise (oh doody...) Hubby says I'll get to where I like doing it. Yeah. Still waiting on that one.

Love ya!

~pinkie

My doctor talks alot about quality of life. She's speaking in the medical aspect, of course, but that phrase has come to mean more to me than I would ever have imagined. Daily, it seems, my quality of life grows higher and higher. I love being home, feathering my nest (and cleaning out all the clutter of way too many feathers...) I love every moment of my life now. Perhaps I appreciate each moment more.

Quality of life is greeting my husband at the door each evening.

Quality of life is my precious daughter on the other end of the phone and anticipating her arrival for Christmas.

Quality of life is my son calling in the middle of the day to tell me how college and work are going and to see how I'm doing.

Quality of life is eating lunch at school with my grandson every Tuesday and picking him up from school on Thursdays.

Quality of life is taking my granddaughter to the fair and anticipating the arrival of her new little brother.

Quality of life is seeing so many of my friends fill a room wearing their "I Wear Pink for the Spyder" shirts.

Quality of life is reading a great romance written by one of my best friends.

Tonight I'm listening to Celine on the CD player and feeling incredibly grateful. I have the best friend I've longed for all my life and a circle of love created by so many great people. I feel the touch of God on a daily basis. There are those who say there's nothing better than being loved by a dog - unless it's two dogs. I think back on how scared Sam was when he first came to live with us, and now he trusts and loves us implicitly. I love my house, my yard, my car. Material things, yes, but they are part of my contentment. They are blessings just the same. Everyday the postman brings love in the form of cards from people I hardly know. So much love and caring in the world. How could I not be grateful? My heart bursts with it.

To everyone who reads this - you are a blessing. Never forget that. You have touched a life with happiness and warmth. Nothing is better to me than your smile and the touch of your hand. *That*'s quality of life.

~Pinkie

And a fine Wednesday morning to all you blogsters out there! I can't believe it's been a week since my last post. I've been a busy, busy girl. My weekend at the writers' retreat at Quartz Mountian Lodge was extremely cool. Our speaking was Mel Odom. I have one word for that man - awesome! Really enjoyed his class.

Even better than that was hanging out with the gals (Mel, you can be an honorary 'gal'). My friend Betty was sick most of the weekend, so I didn't get to see her much :-( I did get to spend time with some friends that have moved away (Hi Jodi and Alice!!). There were about 18-19 of us, and I had a great time. Everyone wore their "I Wear Pink For the Spyder" t-shirts and/or hats on Saturday. What a great bunch, huh?

The area around the lodge is absolutely beautiful. If you've never been out there, I highly recommend it, especially if you're an artist or writer. Wonderful creative air there.

Yesterday I went to have lunch at school with my grandson. I took him some of the "chicken noodle" soup that Chinese places have. Yep, you guessed it - it's really egg drop soup, but Alec likes to call it chicken noodle. I also got him some shrimp fried rice and dug out all the shrimp for him. I'm hoping he can spend the night with us Friday and go to the fair on Saturday morning.

While I'm thinking about it, a couple of people have asked me about the possibility of MD Anderson in Houston. Lane and I have checked it out, and there's nothing they can do for me that won't be done here unless I go into a clinical trial (which they aren't having at the moment). If I go into a clinical trial, I take the chance of ending up in the control group (that gets the placebo). Besides that, about 95% of clinical trials have to be scrapped because they don't get the result they thought they might. In other words, it's just not really worth pulling up stakes at this point. If they do have a clinical trial that starts looking promising, I'll be one of the first to get the new drug anyway. I won't have to wait for FDA approval. Information like that disseminates really quickly in the medical community. As far as regular treatment, MD Anderson won't do anything different from my doctor here.

Well, I'd better get to work. Got lots to do today! Love you all!

Whew! Had a majorly busy week work-wise last week and didn't get to write. It's not easy trying to squeeze 5 days of work into 3 (burned my last bit of vacation on Friday to go to the lake). This was our last trip with the boat. I'm thinking thank goodness maybe now I can get caught up, but Lane was pretty sad. He's really, really enjoyed it. We had an incredibly relaxing weekend for our last lake hurrah.

Max and Sam (the dogs) got to chase an armadillo for a short while until "mom" stopped them. There were cranes and geese at the water's edge. It was really pretty, but definitely the buggiest place we've been. Lane and Jimmy only caught three little catfish and let them go, but they thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. We found a steakhouse in Wichita Falls that was super yummy. I had grilled shrimp. Still having trouble with the texture, but I'm determined to learn to eat them. I get tired of salmon all the time.

Next weekend is the OKRWA retreat - yippee!! I'm so excited to see all you rowdy outlaws!!

Speaking of which - Rinda and Deb, trust me, you'll give up the thermal sleepwear the minute you hit menopause. Then you get to start freezing him out...oh yeah.... Betty, I don't know about the one here because I'm always in Slodeatha during the Labor Day weekend (not in Dallas). They probably do.

Di and Sara.........grab those belly jewels. You can be the retreat evening entertainment - yeeehaw!! I love it!

Sheila, no belly dancing for you for a while. Got to take care of that precious treasure in your tummy!! I'm already dreaming of babysitting and cuddling the little cutie. I'll be Aunt Nell again. Or he/she can call me Nana like the grandkids.

Gotta get to work now. Love you all!! I can feel your prayers and loving thoughts every minute of the day!

~pinkie

Whew! Had a majorly busy week work-wise last week and didn't get to write. It's not easy trying to squeeze 5 days of work into 3 (burned my last bit of vacation on Friday to go to the lake). This was our last trip with the boat. I'm thinking thank goodness maybe now I can get caught up, but Lane was pretty sad. He's really, really enjoyed it. We had an incredibly relaxing weekend for our last lake hurrah.

Max and Sam (the dogs) got to chase an armadillo for a short while until "mom" stopped them. There were cranes and geese at the water's edge. It was really pretty, but definitely the buggiest place we've been. Lane and Jimmy only caught three little catfish and let them go, but they thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. We found a steakhouse in Wichita Falls that was super yummy. I had grilled shrimp. Still having trouble with the texture, but I'm determined to learn to eat them. I get tired of salmon all the time.

Next weekend is the OKRWA retreat - yippee!! I'm so excited to see all you rowdy outlaws!!

Speaking of which - Rinda and Deb, trust me, you'll give up the thermal sleepwear the minute you hit menopause. Then you get to start freezing him out...oh yeah.... Betty, I don't know about the one here because I'm always in Slodeatha during the Labor Day weekend (not in Dallas). They probably do.

Di and Sara.........grab those belly jewels. You can be the retreat evening entertainment - yeeehaw!! I love it!

Sheila, no belly dancing for you for a while. Got to take care of that precious treasure in your tummy!! I'm already dreaming of babysitting and cuddling the little cutie. I'll be Aunt Nell again. Or he/she can call me Nana like the grandkids.

Gotta get to work now. Love you all!! I can feel your prayers and loving thoughts every minute of the day!

~pinkie

Ah, darlings, I had a marvelous weekend! Billy Crystal couldn't even express how mahvelous it was.

It started out kind of rough, though. I got my IV treatment on Thursday with the Zometa (which reduces the release and breakdown of calcium from the bone caused by the cancer). Both the doctor and the nurse said most people have little or no side effects - maybe a bit of pain in the bones -------------------------------

Once again, I get to prove I'm not most people (thankfully it works in the positive way as well as the negative - look how well I tolerated the chemo last year). Of the 9 possible side effects, I got to experience 7 of them: bone pain, confusion (slight), fever (low grade), joint pain (excruciating at times), loss of appetite, nausea (really fun when we had to rock and roll around a thunderstorm between Dallas and west Texas), and tiredness. I took one of Lane's Percocets before I left the house to save my 3 remaining Darvocets for the trip. That may have been in the top 5 decisions I have made in my lifetime right after accepting Jesus, having children, marrying my wonderful husband, and deciding to take a chance and ride to DARA with Sheila that first time. If I had had one less Darvocet, I'd have been calling my doctor in the middle of the night to beg her to call a prescription in to the Walgreen's behind mom's house.

Oh---my gosh. I'll spare you further details, but it was bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

Bad.

Woke up Saturday to a brand new day. Had to take a couple of doses of Tylenol (ibuprofen interacts with the Zometra, isn't that weird) but generally felt 100% better. We went to our fav quilt store and I spent $80 on quilt books (oh, but they're so cool!). Then my Aunt Judy (she's the one who sent me a card and letter every week during chemo without fail) and cousin Robin came down to see me. We went to lunch at Chili's (I had salmon, fresh vegetables, and rice - yummy [seriously]) and visited the rest of the afternoon.

Sunday we made our usual trip to JC Penney where I got 2 beautiful and elegant gowns for $4 each - yes, folks, there are no zeros missing from that figure. I got a matching robe for one of them for another $4. That's why we go every year at this time. I always find something really cool really cheap, but this year was the coup de grace. I got 2 cute little medieval princess books for Brooklyn, one with the alphabet and one with opposites. They're so cute!!! And you know what medieval mania I have.

Went to see Barnyard Sunday night, and it's definitely worth a peek. Really cute.

Monday, we went to Hastings and I went nuts on CD's like always. At the checkout, I picked up a pocket feng shui book and read it all the way home that evening. A lot of it makes uncanny sense. We'll be feng shui-ing the house over the next few weeks.

The diet is getting easier by the day. It has now been just over a week since I've had any sugar. That may be why it's been so cool and rainy. I'm pretty sure hell froze over. Got a chance to work on my notebook and get some standby entries done to help establish my routine. Was gratified when my food looked and tasted every bit as good as the rest of the family's.

Well, work's calling, so I'd better get busy. I plan to actually get some writing done today (a little more frost on the brimstone there - hehehe). Love you guys as always and can't wait to see my writing buddies weekend after next - yippee!!

~pinkie

I'm so sorry I've been away from the web so long, but I've been one busy, busy spyder. Changing your entire diet, adding exercise (both cardio and weight training) is a full time job and plus my real full time job. I am hopping from the time I get up in the morning until I go to bed. Once I get the eating, etc., down to a routine, I should have a bit more free time. Of course, then I'll immediately take it all up with writing!!

Okay - update on me....

Got some potentially good news at the doctor's yesterday. I had my PET scan last week and it didn't show much of anything which may mean the cancer cells haven't gathered in sufficient quantities (it takes like, a million cells in one spot to show up) to show yet. The biopsy also showed them somewhat scattered in the pelvic region. Hopefully that means they've just gotten started and I have a chance to get my diet, etc., down before they start doing their degeneration thing.

I also had my first IV treatment with Zometa (I think that's right) yesterday. It took about 20 minutes. The nurse was pretty rough with the needle, and if she does it again, I'll request she not do it anymore. It hurt almost the whole time. The last time it hurt like that, I ended up with phlebitis, and I don't need that complication right now. I woke up last night with my arm bones and shoulder and wrist joints really hurting from the medication, but a Percocet fixed that right up. They're fine this morning.

I'll have blood tests (to monitor my kidneys) and the IV treatments every four weeks, have a CT scan in 3 months and then see my doctor again. Oh, and guess what else - the fun just never stops. You're gonna love this. I have to have a colonoscopy. Oh doody! (As Tweety would say...) The PET scan showed extra activity in the colon. The doctor doesn't think it's cancer, but she said, "Well, you'll have to have one eventually..." so here I go. Ah well.

I'm headed off to my mom's place this afternoon for the weekend. I'll fly to Dallas to meet my sister and we'll fly together from there. Now that really is a yippee of the highest order. Got to see my critique buds last night and mom and sis this weekend - that alone should raise my survival percentage by a few points!!

I'm behind on my work, so I'd better get my day started. Just wanted to pop in and let you all know I'm doing well and my spirits are up. Don't worry if you don't hear from me for a few days because I will be working madly next week to get caught up. Love you all, and I pray God's blessings on you daily!

~pinkie

Of course, my little grandson doesn't work - I'll pick him up from school - hehehe
~p

Just a quick note to let everyone know I'm doing okay. Right now the predominate thought is "This isn't my life, is it?" I feel so strange getting the cards and emails etc. This can't be me. It can't be my situation, can it? It blows my mind sometimes.

One word of advice I've learned. Don't tell a person with advanced cancer that none of us knows when we're going to die and that you could get hit by a truck tomorrow. It isn't the same, trust me, and that's not a comfort. Tell them a funny joke instead. Tell them something your child or grandchild did yesterday. Tell them you love them because that's the best comfort of all.

We're headed to the lake this weekend (how's that for perfect timing?) so I'll write more Sunday or Monday. Since I'll be working from home now, I can pick my grandson up from work one day a week. See, God never wastes a hurt. I have an inkling of other blessings coming my way, but more on that when I get back.

Love you all!
~pinkie

Tomorrow's the big day! Whoopee!

Okay, I'm being facitious - not sure of the spelling there...

Today was a good day. I haven't been as tired as usual today. I was incredibly sleepy yesterday, but I still managed to go out to eat at Chili's with BF Sheila and cleaned out the spare bedroom some. Today I'm kind of hyper, probably because tomorrow is the oncologist appointment.

This Monday, I start on my get-well-quick diet, so tonight we went to my favorite steakhouse for a small filet - yum, yum, double yum. I'm just about out of things on my list. I do have some Fritos and Tostitos cheese dip for tomorrow or the next day. This weekend we're going to the lake. Monday, I give up all meat, poultry, fish, alcohol, dairy products, sugar, wheat, and eggs in preparation for my juice fast. I found a 21-day regimen online that I think I'll follow. It's a 8-day fast with 3 days to come off the fast and 10 days on a 75% raw/25% cooked ratio. After that I'll add in limited fish and a small amount of dairy. Will try to stay off the wheat (it really bloats my tummy) and definitely off meats, poultry, alcohol, sugar, and most fats.

For anyone who'd like to read a good diet book, try Fit for Life. The guy is a bit of an extremist on some issues, but it's got some great principles to eat by and seems pretty easy to follow. It's no wonder tons of people lose weight on his diet and feel tons better. I got 2 new books in today: Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book (which any woman would probably find fascinating) and the Cancer Battle Plan Sourcebook. This weekend, I'll work on assimilating and coordinating all the varied information I've read and put together some kind of coherent plan for my future wellness. Not a small task, guys and dolls.

I should run now. It's almost bedtime and I want to read for a while. Love this saying: I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed. You guys are a huge part of that blessing and anointment. Love you all!!

~pinkie

I really have to take a minute to sing my coworkers' praises. They are so very sweet to me. The fatigue has really been getting to me, and they've been right there to help. I've been really late to work two days and they are so supportive. Whatever I need, they're right there. Now, you couldn't pay for something that precious. There's not enough money in the world. Anyone out there praying for me, please pray for blessings on my coworkers. They deserve anything they can get!

Yesterday was a hard evening. I guess I had a lot of emotion bottled up, and it overflowed. I got started crying and just couldn't stop. My poor husband. You know how men are with emotion - well, he really got dumped on big time. He handled it really well, I must say.

We met with a couple of naturopathic doctors yesterday. One was completely incoherent - I mean, talk about excess verbage! All you writers out there know what I'm talking about. Don't take a hundred words to say what one or two would say better. Sheesh! He was very sweet, but I just can't communicate with him. The second guy was better, though he was a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Well, not a bit - he's a *big* conspiracy theorist. But he seems to know what he's talking about with nutrition and supplements, etc., and he really seemed to care about my situation. We have another appointment next Wednesday morning and then one more the following Monday. We're making progress.

My laptop arrived today for me to work at home. I think I'll go out a week from this Monday. The fatigue (whether from stress or the cancer if it's really present, I don't know) is getting to me big time. During the week, I just want to come home and go straight to bed. I brought my laptop home and will set it up on Sunday and see if it works like it's supposed to. It should be just like being at work - is that not awesome technology? The sales reps say all their stuff is there whether at the office or at home. Everything's the same. Amazing.

Tomorrow the fam and I are heading for Palo Duro Canyon to the see the play Texas. My MIL and I have been wanting to go since before we even met, so we're finally doing it. I'm excited about that. My little grandson sure wanted to go with us, but he has lots of goings on tomorrow. One of those things is ball practice. He started machine pitch this year. Can't wait to see the boys play. Loved T-ball! He came over to see us tonight, and you talk about an infusion of joy in Nana's heart - oh my gosh. We were watering the flower beds and got into a water fight. I was drenched by the time he was done with me. I laughed and laughed. Grandpa runs faster than I do, so he didn't get as wet. Grandkids are the best!

I have so many blessings. It's nice to have an evening where I can count a few of them - speaking of blessings, Sheila (my best friend) called tonight, and she, her dh, me, my dh, her dh's brother, his little girl and my grandson all went out to dinner. Great company and great food!!

My son spent his first night in the dorms last night. He's all grown up now, I guess. He's really proud and excited to be out of the parents' digs. Got the bill today too - holey moley. College ain't cheap boys and girls! He's so worth it, though. He's the best son a mom could ask for. He even does dishes - wooo!!

Time for bed. Everyone have a great weekend. Since I let the lid off the pressure cooker last night, I'm primed for a great time. God bless all who read this.

~pinkie

Well, the biopsy is done; I've had my morning coffee at last along with brats cooked on the grill by my husband. The biopsy wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it might be. In fact, I was very comfortable. They gave me a light sedative to relax me, and I slept through quite a bit of it. I remember bits and pieces. They brought a pathologist up to ensure they had an adequate sample of the tissue. The radiologist said he cleaned the spot out. My hip is sore, but I took a Loritab and will lay down for a nap when I finish this post. I should be able to go to work tomorrow.

I've got some appointments made with nutritionists and naturopathic doctors (may have mentioned that before - remember, I'm impaired more than usual). Anyway, the point is, I have a list of foods I want to eat before I go cold turkey (or cold veggie since turkey won't be on my consumables list for a while...). I've had Del Rancho's chicken fry (Texan for a chicken fried steak), Ricky's mexican food, pizza, Panera cinnamon bagels, Johnnie's chargrilled hamburgers, and now yummy Brats. Left on the list is Cattleman's steakhouse, a Braum's chocolate shake, Johnny Carino's, Reese's peanut butter cups, and one of my awesome chocolate cakes with fudge icing (can*not*) be topped. And anything else I think of between now and my projected start date of 8/24. I also have about 2/3 of a giant Hershey bar in my desk drawer at work that I need to finish. One of my reps sent me an almond Hershey bar and a regular 3 or 4 months ago. I've been savoring them since. That's my ultimate favorite chocolate in the world. Dove and the rest can get lost - give me a Hershey bar!!

It's time for me to go lay down now. I really appreciate all you ladies and guys for the tremendous support. HHRW, OKRWA, and my local Methodist church are the best!! Top of the heap are my wonderful critique partners. I could not do this without you!!!

Hugs,
~pinkie

Tomorrow is "tha day." Am I nervous. Yep. Pain and I are not friends, but hopefully this won't be too bad. Usually the worst part is the shots to numb you. Talked a long time with my daughter tonight, and that always does a mom's heart good. She's so accomplished and clear-headed. How I produced a child that smart amazes me. I mean, not just book smart but all-around smart. Okay, okay. I know - every old crow thinks hers is the blackest (but mine really is!).

I shall blog tomorrow if I'm able. If I'm too uncomfortable, I'll catch up with you guys on Thursday. I love my friends, family and coworkers. Couldn't do this without you!!

~pinkie

Yay! My new skin works - hooray!!! Laura informed me it doesn't work in all browsers (she see the text all squished to the left side), but she's going to work on it for me tomorrow. Man, I'm blogging with the best of them now. I need to get that site counter thing next.

Oops - I was supposed to be writing. Gulp! Don't beat me, Gena!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........

~pinkie

Di does it yet again - she finds the most interesting websites and books. Be sure to check out her comments.

Well, I just came in from the back yard where it has begun to rain. I hope it keeps on raining instead of teasing me with the usual 2-minute downpour. My poor plants are barely hanging on. Even with the sprinkler system, the yard and flowerbeds look pretty dry. Thank goodness we put in the system this year, or they'd all be dead, I'm sure!

I've been so tired the writing hasn't been going very well, but will give it a stab again tonight. I have to pick up my son at 10:30 tonight as his car is still in the shop. I'm starting to get a little apprehensive about the test Wednesday. The only thing painful about my last biopsy was getting the shots to deaden the area, so I assume this will be the same. The nurse said they may give me that 'twilight sleep' where you're not really asleep but very calm. Sounds good to me.

I scheduled my doctor's visit today for Wed the 23rd in the afternoon. Will post here with my results as early as I can.

I've gathered up a list of naturopathic doctors and MD's who practice alternative medicine. Will start calling tomorrow to make appointments to check them out. So far the plan is to spend 8/24 through 8/31 doing the pre-diet. I have to stop eating all meat, fish, poultry, pork, dairy products, wheat, and a few other things I can't remember. Then on 9/1, I'll start the juice fast for two weeks. Then I have a 'coming off the fast' diet to do a few days and then I go forward eating 75% raw foods and 25% cooked foods. Still no meat, etc., until I get a clean bill of health from the doctor. Please forgive all my 'thens' in the previous sentences.

That's all I know for now, and of course, all of this is dependent on what my oncologist plans to do and what I hear from the nutritionist.

I'd better go get busy writing. I have a critique partner that likes to crack the whip!

More soon,
~pinkie

We have a date!

My biopsy is scheduled for this Wednesday at 8:00 a.m. I'll get the results the following Wednesday. I'm so excited! I know, I know. It's a weird thing to get excited over, but waiting for anything long enough will induce excitement, trust me. I'm ready to get on with it and get busy fighting.

The prayer of the day is: If *any* of the spots are cancerous, I want this result to come back positive. I don't want to have to go through additional biopsies to find cancer if it's there. If this comes back negative, they'll do a PET scan and then biopsy the largest spot on my vertebrae (T4). That's a tricky one to get to which is why they didn't biopsy it first.

If the result comes back positive, they'll still do a PET scan to measure the level of activity in the spots. Activity means bone turn-over, which is new cells coming up and dead cells being carried away more rapidly than usual. It's a sign of the bone trying to heal itself or fight something off. This PET scan will serve as a baseline to measure the effectiveness of treatment. They'll change my hormone-control medication and then take another PET scan to see if the level of activity has changed and so forth and so on. The road goes on forever and the party never ends, boys and girls.

Chemo may be involved at some point, but since this is medically incurable (notice I said 'medically'), they'll do the least they can to contain it.

I talked with my boss today, and working at home is a go. Now I need to discuss this with my oncologist to make sure the extreme (and we're talking way the hell out there, baby) nutrition therapy won't interfere with what she's doing. If it does, such as if she decides to do chemo right away, I'll wait until that's done to start shooting coffee through the bottom end.

Holy Frijoles, I can't believe I'm talking about juice fasting and coffee enemas. Have mercy. It's just more than a spyder can comprehend some days. Even more amazing is the amount of information on both you can find on the internet. I actually have detailed instructions.

I'm also in the market for a naturopathic doctor and/or nutritionist in the area. If any of you know of a good one, let me know. I need one that's not so into supplements as eating the right foods to accomplish what I have to accomplish. I already take 98% of all the supplements known to man, so I don't need a source. I need a complete program of diet, exercise, supplements, etc. The book I have has some guidelines but leaves many unanswered questions. I need expert guidance.

I've just about talked your ears off here (those of you who know me well won't be surprised), so just a couple more things.

Laura - I wish you were here, too, sweetie! Those of you who don't know, Laura is my lovely, talented and very intelligent daughter and is a constant source of pride for her mother. She's in Boston working on her Masters degree (man, I *love* saying that!).

Di - I loved your comment - will have to visit that site! Everybody check out Di's comment on day before yesterday's post. She found a cool website with healthy recipes, etc.

The ladies of OKRWA are the best in the world!

Everyone visit: http://altmedicine.about.com/od/detoxcleansing/l/bl_quiz_detox.htm for a quiz on whether you need to detox your body. You'll be surprised.... Scroll down and click on the really small blue link that says Detox screening quiz. You have to look for it. It'll bring up the first question.

Love you all!
~pinkie

They're still trying to schedule the biopsy for Friday, but we've changed from Mercy to Baptist because Mercy doesn't take my insurance. I hope they realize tomorrow is Thursday... little joke there, hehehe. Gotta laugh sometimes. Hubby and I went out for Mexican food tonight in preparation for my extreme diet makeover. For the next week, I'm going to eat my favs - Johnny Carino's, a big juicy hamburger, pizza maybe. I have to be careful because if I eat too poorly, it has digestive consequences. Those of you as firmly in your forties as me know what I mean.

I ordered Diana Dyer's book yesterday. She's a dietician who had advanced cancer similar to mine and beat it through diet.

Sometimes, like now, this seems so unreal. I think, what the hell am I doing? This can't be me. This isn't my life. I have a great talent for avoiding the unpleasant, and I feel myself slipping into that mode sometimes. Then it all comes back to me. Wow.

Then other times I want to get the testing all done and dive into the thick of the battle.

*sigh* Things will progress at the speed they want to and not the speed I'd prefer.

Don't mind me. I'm tired and a bit melancholy tonight, so I think I'll head off to bed, watch some TV, and drift off. Sweet dreams, everyone!

~pinkie

Well, as some of you know, it's been wild around the web lately. I had my annual CT scan (after being diagnosed with breast cancer in Feb 2005), and they found a spot on my backbone. The bone scan showed that spot, another on my backbone and several more on my left pelvic bone. The doctor's office is currently working on scheduling a biopsy of the largest and easiest spot which is on the pelvic bone. My doctor is really picky about who she'll let do it because we need the best. I love that about her!! Should be late this week or early next week at Mercy. I'll know the results by the first of next week. There are lots of details I'll be sharing this week about what this may mean and where we go from here, but no time tonight.

I've had a great time playing around with this blog, but it's time to get serious. Join me for a journey through the mysterious and deadly land of cancer. I promise I won't let you get hurt. Just take my hand, and we'll go together. I'll do all the dangerous stuff. Perhaps someday the things you witness will be of use to you or a loved one. I intend to make it all the way through, and I'm pulling out all the stops medically and nutritionally. Jesus is going with us (you remember, He promised to lead us through the valley of the shadow of death?), so we don't have to be afraid. Even if I end up having to leave you, He'll stay right beside both of us. He's special that way...

By the way, if you didn't know before, now you know why the spyder is pink. It's a spyder because that's just how I am. Kooky, horror-loving, and eternally optimistic. Even when I die someday, I'm optimistic. Heaven will be so cool. Trust me, I've had a lot of incentive to think about it.

'til tomorrow,
~pinkie

It's been a while, darlings, but I wanted to let you know, you dear Pinkie has been on deadline lately (editor request from a contest!) to spin the great American web. I'll be back when that's done. In the meantime, argue amongst yourselves, and if you miss me too terribly, just scream...

To keep you company, I'm posting the cover to Gena Showalter's upcoming release, The Nymph King....ahhhhhh, this is one human I'd love to crawl on in his sleep...

~pinkie

My Turn!

A rousing “Thank you” to my arachnid friend, The Pink Spyder, for allowing old Kingie to grace her hallowed snare as this week’s “Guest Blogger.” I only pray that these royal ramblings measure up to her Blog’s fine tradition of brilliance and distinction. So, without further ado~

I find myself dangerously approaching a point in my archaic age where I am losing patience for those in the realm who cannot, or will not, use proper King’s English. Nothing twists the royal knickers more than trying to understand the oral gibberish and misspelled writings of the kingdom’s inhabitants. Much like the Black Death, this has become an evil plague upon the monarchy.

It was only yesterday that ye royal crowns gnawed upon each other whilst I listened to the Olde Towne Crier mispronounce his utterings, word, after word, after word. So infuriated was I that I summoned my loyal Squires to procure a copy so that I might read, and thus understand, with more clarity. Alas, the King's heart weakened with despair as royal tears fell downward upon his robe. I witnessed misspelled words and poorly constructed sentences. Grammar, much like yon castle walls, was in dire need of structure and support. I feared that the enemies of intellect had invaded my realm. Theirs was the goal of undermining the very foundation us old monarchs have fought for and cherished, lo these many centuries. I beseech you, all who read this, to follow me in a crusade for better syntax. Time and apathy are our enemies and they have placed us at the edge of their wicked forest. There is no turning back. We must find a way to breach the dark and eerie woodland, or perish, sword in hand, at this scourge of ignorance.

A Proclamation To All: “Go forth, learn, and teach! Harvest a manuscript on grammar. Open it and read its contents. A playful starter: http://www.edufind.com/english/grammar/ Being ever so simplistic and fun, even the squeamish at heart will enjoy this website. Study it knaves, learn it, and recite its works! Push thyself, knights! Rise up, Ladies of the Crown! Rise meteorically. Become Nobles of the Quest. Go forth and teach those less fortunate. Pride thyself in thy newly acquired literary skills.

If I must command Merlin to cast a spell, then so be it. The realm shall, no MUST, learn effective speaking and writing skills. The King’s English must endure. From the Monarch’s lowly Court’s Jesters to its lofty arachnids of the world, all shall rise to meet this decree.

And to my host, Pinkie~

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew her, Pinkie: an arachnid of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy and quality of written speech: she hath borne me on her website; and now, how exuberated in my imagination it is! My chalice rims at the edge with gratitude and respect. Now get you to your Lady's chambers, Miss Pinkie, and tell all, to look upon this favour as privilege. Go now in peace all that read this.

And to the critics of the Crown, should you find grammatical errors herein, remember this: "Sometimes it's good to be the King!" I beg leave of you now, my loyal subjects.

King Richard of White

One last thing before I run out and finish off that last fly...

King Richard of White has confused my crab spider with spider crabs, so I've posted a couple of pictures to set him straight. These are spider crabs. See you on Wednesday, kingie!!!

Ta-ta!

~pinkie

Since this is Medieval Monday, I chose an image from the Medieval Bestiary. Not very good at pictures, were they? That doesn't look a thing like me! Perhaps with some tiny pink sandals and a lovely pink bow...and good heavens, which is the head and which is the butt?

For our Monday feast, I've decided to post a letter from Adonea, who stars in a novel in process called Dark Blessing, It's by an author who'll likely use the name Ava Donnellon, if her publisher will allow. Anyway, that's what we shall call her for now. She's graciously agreed to allow me to post Adonea's letter, but before I do that darlings, I want to let you in on a special treat for Web Worthy Wednesday. The one and only King Richard of White has agreed to be our guest poster - yes, yes, I hear your sighs of rapture all the way here. Be looking for that day after tomorrow!! Now to the letter:

Dearest Pinkie,

I am humbled and delighted for the opportunity to pen this letter for your - what do you call it? -- blog? You 21st century people are so very strange. The closest thing I can imagine is the rather long cow skin on which I write the recipes for my potions, and I certainly would not hang it out for all to see! In fact, I'd rather no one know of my magical powers.

Perhaps I would be better off in the 21st century. I've been terribly lonely of late. Uncle Aelfred is getting on in years, and little Jakin, whom I've taken under my care since shortly after his birth, is too young to be much of a companion. You see, my family sent me away to a convent long ago. They think I'm a changeling, an evil being left in the crib in place of their real baby. I escaped from the nun's cruelty and have been on my own ever since.

I would like to see my younger sister, Orphillia. She was but a babe when I last gazed upon her beautiful blue-eyed face. My friend, Lady Tess of Halford, keeps an eye on her for me through her spies.

I hear Tess's half-brother, that dastardly blackheart Eric the Daring has been ill of late. He most likely deserves it too, for it is his son that I care for after the child was abandoned by his unwed mother. I may be an outcast and tragically uncherished, but I'll never be so disconsolate as to seek the solace of that man's arms.

I should take my way to bed now. I feel the spirit will soon come upon me and drag me away to the next avenging. I should verily like to rid myself of that burden someday. Who next shall I kill? What soul shall I doom to wander the earth as its penance? I can only hope I shall be released from its compulsion when I have finally atoned for whatever sin brought this curse down upon me.

Most assuredly yours,
Adonea

Feast your eyes on this beauty, darlings. This is the image I wish to send you off to your weekend with... This is my cousin Crabby. And for all you arachniphobes (King Richard...), I stumbled across a bit of an article I thought I'd share....

WHY ARE SPIDERS OUR FRIENDS? Even though they can bite, spiders are our friends. They eat more insects than birds do, especially yellow flies, which really bite people a lot. Spiders don’t see very well. If you stay more than a foot away from them, they can’t even see you, and they certainly can’t bite you. If a spider gets on you, the only thing it wants to do is get off. Don’t squash him; just flip him off. He may eat the bug that was going to sting you tomorrow!

Oh, and my dear friend Sara asked if we intentionaly crawl on people when they're sleeping...certainly not, darling. It's very dangerous. The average person swallows 7 spiders over the course of their lifetime - eew! Who wants to be swallowed by an icky human? Gives me chills just thinking about it!

Anyway, I'll leave you with this last thought:

HOW DO SPIDERS EAT? Spiders don’t chew their food. When they get to the bug in their web, they bite it and inject venom. The venom either paralyzes or kills the bug. Then the venom turns the bug’s insides into liquid. While the venom is working, the spider wraps the bug in silk. She may drink the liquid then, or tie the little silk bundle to her web so she can snack later.

Yummy - I'm off to the lake for a feast of water bugs! Ta ta!

~pinkie

Great evil is afoot! I've received intelligence today through my world wide web (it really is all mine, you know) that King Richard of White has stated the following (and I quote!):

"Just for the record, dah-ling...spiders are the only thing prohibiting me from becoming a certified, card-carrying Hindu. I respect all forms of life "except-" you guessed it: arachnoids."

I cannot tell you how upset I am - truly, truly upset. King Richard, if you are reading this, I'd like to introduce you to someone.... The picture above is my boyfriend, Freiderick, and his evil twin brother, Hortence. He is a funnel web spider. If you do not cease and desist making all such comments, I shall send him to bite you. His venom attacks the human nervous system so severely, the initial symptoms include local pain, mouth numbness, vomiting, abdominal pain, sweating and salivation. And that's just for starters!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, kingie-poo! Now what have you to say for yourself? Shall I call upon Freiderick?

Humbly awaiting your reply,
~pinkie

Someone mentioned that I should share my gorgeous eight-legged image with the world, and I quite agree...Here you go, my lovely arachnifans!

What do they mean, beware the web? It won't hurt you, darling, I promise. Look into my eyes. Can't you tell I'm not lying? Come a little closer....just a little closer....

Come 'ere ya big chicken!

In the coming days, you'll experience such delight, such rapture....why, you ask? Because I have some truly horrific treats for you (no, no, leave my flies alone now). Beginning next week, we'll start off with Medieval Monday (because who else knew how to be more horrific than someone who, if you pissed them off, would lop off your head, shove a pike through it and display the ugly remains on their front lawn?).

Don't run away, darling....it's all lighthearted fun...

We'll follow that with Traumatic Tuesday and .... well, I think that's enough preview for now.

Ta-ta!
~pinkie