Friday, December 07, 2007

Forgetting to Worry

I was in the dentist's office getting my teeth cleaned on Wednesday, and somehow the subject of my cancer came up to the dental hygenist's new assistant. I can't remember what she said that caused me to mention it, but as often happens, her expression turned tragic and fearful. I can't stand to upset anyone, so I found myself comforting her. This happens a lot. People are so afraid to realize someone they know has an incurable illness. I guess the knowledge is brought home to them in a very personal way.

Many people say, "But you're okay now, aren't you?" I always answer this question with a yes, and then explain that my disease isn't curable. People need to know that real, live people can be incurable yet still okay. I told her how God was taking care of me, and I'm doing my part by eating healthy and trying to exercise (I'm getting better but still can't say I'm doing good at that). I gave her my favorite motto: The opposite of faith is fear, so when I'm afraid, I work very hard to get back into faith.

Then I did something that, for me, was extraordinary. I asked her if she has a church home. I've been personally burdened to take up this fifth purpose for my life (see The Purpose Driven Life - if you don't have one, get one and actually read it!). I've always been timid and didn't know what to say, but now I have an easy script to follow, thanks to cancer. (Who'da thunk it?)

Both my husband and I feel strongly that the Holy Spirit is telling us that I have many more years to live. At first, He spoke to me and told me my prayers to write full time and enjoy all my hobbies and such were answered. I wasn't ready for the spiritual purpose yet, so He highlighted the selfish benefit first to ease me into His care and trust. My purpose is appearing to be much larger than my own personal evangelism, so I'd like everyone who reads this blog to pray that I will recognize my mission and execute it wisely. Pray for God to break down the barriers in my way.

I'll let you know when I get this purpose underway. Love you all!


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